Perfect Conditions

Perfect Conditions

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done- Ecclesiastes 11:4

It was finally the day I had been waiting for: university applications.

The time in my academic career where I would finally decide where I would spend the next four years of my life arrived. I had taken the 4-hour long career tests, online quizzes, spent evenings Googling the courses I wanted to take and of course attending every single stall at the career expos my school hosted.

I had visited each and every stall at the career expo; spoken to every representative I could speak to, collected as many pamphlets as my hands could carry, every application form I could get and who can forget the free pens that I got?

I was ready to embark on this new journey, and I was excited to start filling out application forms. I knew exactly where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life. I had found the perfect school to follow my dream of becoming a journalist.

So as the grade 11 final exams arrived, we were constantly being reminded of the importance of these exams as these would be the results that would be used to apply to university. So I decided to put in a lot of effort into the exams to achieve the perfect score of over 40 points. The points would guarantee me admission to the school.

But sometimes with all goals, you don’t achieve them the first time. I fell short of the 40 point target (although my exam results were not terrible). They were still not where I wanted them to be. Although the university had said they might consider applicants who fall below the 40-points, 40-points and above would most LIKELY guarantee admission. I wanted guaranteed admission.  I did not want to be less than perfect.

What if they did not accept me?

So I decided to work even harder next year to achieve the 40-points required. And I still failed to meet the target after writing midterms AND Finals.  I did not do any better than my previous exam; in fact my grades remained the same.

I decided to go ahead and apply to my dream school, with the grades I got and hopefully sweep them away with my charm (I’m kidding).

I realized that maybe my academics were not the only deciding factor: I had been involved in extracurricular activities in and out of school, I had no criminal record (and other things I suppose schools look for).

The only problem is I had applied a tad bit too late. My application had been sent to the university just before the deadlines, so technically it was not a” late” application.

And less than a week later they sent me a letter.  And my heart sank when my application had been rejected: they were full. On the bright side they had placed me on waiting list for 2012 and offered me a place in 2014, a year after my peers would be entering varsity (Which reassured me that I am not as dumb as I think).

But what disappointed me is that I had waited so long to apply. I waited to get that “perfect” score (which I never attained), instead of using those okay grade 11 results from the start. So my waiting may have been in vain? It still plagues me: if only I had gone with my gut and used the first set of results instead of being such a damn perfectionist!

What the whole point of this sad tale? To illustrate the devastating effects procrastination and perfection can have. I am not encouraging laziness, all I am saying is sometimes our compulsive need to be perfect and avoid failure can hinder our progress.

 Try. Yes, like Pink put: “You better get up and try”. No matter how “imperfect” you may feel, if you don’t try you may be missing out on an opportunity. 

There will never be the “perfect” time to do anything. Although I am still bummed out about being placed on waiting list, I have taken something out of this experience. In the end it is not only your grades that determine your success in life: it is trying out things and eradicating the fear of failure. In other words it is : " diving in", or getting up on that stage risking being ridiculed. 

Or as Robert Schuller put it: " What would you attempt to do If you knew you could not fail?"

Imani Dlamini